My new boot….

I finally went to see the orthopedist about the pain and swelling that I’ve been having in my Achilles’ tendon.  Apparently, I have a bone spur that is rubbing against the tendon causing tendonitis. (Forgive me if I’m not being technical enough here.)

We are hoping that six weeks in a boot plus physical therapy will bring healing and allow me full use of the foot again. (I’m even wishing that I’ll be able to run again……..)

If this doesn’t work, then we will have to consider surgery followed by six weeks in the boot and physical therapy.

I ask that you pray for my healing along with some patience with being slightly incapacitated.

Once I go to my first physical therapy appointment on Monday, I will be able to determine what all I will be allowed to do while wearing the boot.

I know that I can do upper body, core,  and I’m thinking that I’ll be able to use the leg machines at the gym (glute kickbacks, extensions, and curls). I’m hoping that I can continue with yoga. And I’m praying that I will be allowed to get on the rowing machine for some cardio.

Whatever I can or can’t do will not determine my happiness because I know that I can go to the beach, quilt, sew, write, and read.

I’m really, really praying that all will go well and I’ll be out of this boot and be good as new before my new granddaughter arrives in April!

 

 

Random thoughts….

and how m

I’m sure that you can guess where I’ve been…. Yep! I went to see that amazing grand baby. We had planned on staying for  about a week but got snowed in and had to stay for a few extra days which was quite alright by me.

Every time Liberty says my name it seems to be followed by an exclamation point. “Bebe! Come Bebe! Sit Bebe! Play Bebe!” And, like a good servant to the royal princess, I immediately come, sit, or play. On the way home, I told Hank that I was created to be a grandmother and how much I enjoy every minute with her. .

Onto another thought…..

When we first left Gallup, I wasn’t sure how to pray.  You see I had spent almost 16 years praying for a community, a church, a ministry, a message, and the men and women who attended our church. I had learned to intercede but had forgotten how to pray. Well, since Gallup,  I’ve been praying one prayer and it goes like this:

Dear Father,

Your word says that though our sins be as scarlet, you will wash us and we will become white as snow. Please forgive me and my family of our sins. Please create within us a clean heart and renew a right spirit within. And please restore the joy of our salvation.

Please put a hedge of protection around us and a funnel of blessings over us so that we do not miss a single opportunity to say thank you for we know that every good and perfect gift comes from you.

In Jesus name, Amen.

This prayer led me to think quite a bit about the gift of salvation and caused me to realize that somehow along the way I had confused  serving with being a servant. There is a difference!

Jesus did not  endure the brutality of dying on a cross to make me a servant of God. God already has perfect servants in the angelic forces that rush to do his will without question or reserve. Jesus went to the cross to allow me the privilege of becoming a daughter of God who serves her father out of love.

When God asks me to do something he’s not asking his servant or slave to do his will. No, he’s asking his me, his daughter,  to join him in the work that he’s doing because he wants to spend time with me.

This is a truth that I’ve never embraced as my own —- God enjoys spending time with his children and he often wants to do that by including me in what he’s doing.

Coming to understand this truth has restored to me the joy of my salvation. And I hope that it does the same for you.

And yet another thought…..

Those so called dark nights of a the soul only come to those who believe in God. And for some of us, they are indeed a gift from God because they force  us to wrestle with the truth of who He is and always will be…. sovereign.

These dark nights of the soul remind us that he doesn’t do things as we do  and that he  views time differently than we do. When he works in silence, we fight to hold on to our faith in him, hoping that somehow, someway,  he will indeed work all things together for our good.

Yet, we don’t stop believing.

Another thought….

Dealing with these injuries during the last few months has given me time to think about my relationship with my body.

There have been times that I’ve pursued physical fitness with more determination that I’ve pursued God. When it seemed as if I had lost all control of my life and future, I tried to gain control with diet and exercise. And even that control was lost due to injuries and a super slow thyroid.

Control is an illusion. Injuries happen.

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my body for far to long and I think I’ve finally put that to rest by choosing to be thankful for what my body can do and where it can take me. I have arms that are gentle enough to hold a grandchild and strong enough to be raised in praise. My legs take me to the altar and  carry my grand baby upstairs. I  can go for a bike ride or lay on the beach in wonder of God’s creation.

This doesn’t mean that I will stop pursuing physical fitness, it just means that I’ll keep in perspective.

One last thought….

During this election year, we are going to disagree with family, co-workers, and members of our church.  This is a great time for us to show who we are in Christ and remember that it’s the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.  Paul instructs us,

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14

There’s no better testing ground for living in peace than an election year and I’m hoping that you and I pass this test.

No more thoughts for now, I’ll check in later.

Scripture References:

• Isaiah 1:18
• Psalm 51:10
• Psalm 51:12
• Job 1:10
• James 1:17
• Romans 8:28
• Romans 2:4

 

 

 

Almost a year…..

It’s been almost a full year since we moved from Gallup.

I spent the first few months feeling incredibly guilty about leaving. And then I spent a few months convinced that I had failed God, Gallup, and myself.

I’ve always viewed life with a pass or fail mentality. And for me, failing was anything less than an A-. So, closing the church definitely put me in the absolute failure category.

Since we left Gallup, I have visited a lot of churches. In the beginning, when I went into a new church, I’d think we did that or wonder why never tried doing it that way. Maybe if I had been more like this pastor then I would still be a pastor instead of  a visitor. Honestly, one time I went to a church and thought that the whole reason we didn’t reach the level of success that I believed for was because I couldn’t sing. You see, the pastor’s wife at that church is an amazing singer and leads praise and worship. Maybe if I could have at least  played the piano things would have been different???????

But in the last few weeks something has changed because I’ve started seeing things differently.

God has been speaking to me that he saved me to be his daughter not his servant. Think about it for a moment…If God only wanted servants then why would he create mankind? He already has devoted and obedient servants that he calls angels. These angels did not require the sacrifice of the cross to put them in a position of service. They were, are, and always will be doing exactly what they were created to do —- serve!

Angels are never called children of God.

Up until recently I believed a lie. I believed that God loved me because I was doing his will. I believed that God had created me for a purpose and if I failed to fulfill that purpose then I was failing not only myself but I was failing God. And if I was failing God, then what use did he have for me?  I was living life as an indentured slave because I had totally forgotten that serving God is in it’s simplest form an act of love.

Jesus said, “Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:35-36

These are the truths that God has been speaking to set me free…..

• God knit me together in my mother’s womb because he wanted a daughter.
• God rescued me from physical death time and time again because he loves me as his daughter.
• God doesn’t need me to do anything but live as his daughter.
• God allows me to participate in his will because he enjoys spending time with his daughter.
• God’s purpose for my life is for me to live as his daughter.
• God wants me to enjoy all of the benefits that come from being his daughter.

Since coming to understand and accept these truths, I am able to change my perception of the past and my expectation for the future.  No longer do I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I no longer accept responsibility that was never meant to be mine. I choose to see serving God as the privilege of participating in the wonder of who He is as my father and as just another opportunity to spend time with Him.

Living life as a daughter makes the promise that Job received be true for me too…..

“The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.“*

*“Adonai blessed Iyov’s later situation even more than his earlier one.” Complete Jewish Bible.