Hannah and I were talking today and she asked me some interesting questions…..

Why is it so awkward to to tell another woman that she has a good body? Or great skin? Why is it  awkward to tell another woman that she’s attractive or pretty?

Before we moved on to another topic, she asked….

Why is it so much easier for women to tear down other women than to build them up?

If you’re a woman then you have probably experienced another woman tearing you down, putting you in your place, or sharing their concerns about you. I know I have!

When I was in my late 20’s, I started running and cycling. It was also during that time that I stopped eating meat and focused on eating lots of fruits, veggies and beans and rice. So it was no surprise to me when I started dropping my baby weight.

But it was a big surprise to some of the ladies I knew. I heard people whispering when I came into a room but didn’t know what they were saying until a very good friend pulled me aside to tell me that she was concerned that I had become anorexic. She wanted to know just how much I was eating every day and if I was making myself throw up.

They couldn’t see the miles my running shoes had covered or the hills my bike had climbed. They weren’t with me when I was eating breakfast, lunch or dinner. All they saw was the girl who came to church every Sunday and Wednesday and that girl was losing way to much weight so something must be wrong with me.

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Just sharing this memory with you makes me sad! It seems like women treat each other exactly the same way that Satan treated Eve when he suggested that she was lacking something that could only be found in eating.

Ladies, it’s time for us to embrace the awkward and start telling other women what we admire about them.

Let me give you an example of how to do this….

oxygenmagazineliftless-01I was at the gym the other day and I noticed a woman about my age who has an incredible body. You know, like one of those bodies on the cover of Oxygen. I watched her work hard in the gym but I kept my earbuds in and my mouth shut. The next time we were in the gym together, I decided that I was going to say something and I told her that I really admire the body that she has built with diet and exercise.  She said thank you and I thought that was the end of the conversation. But as she was heading out the door, she came back over to where I was and said thank you. She went on to say that she’s used to men hitting on her and the jealous looks she gets from other women in the gym but that this was the first time she felt respect and admiration from another woman.

Her last words to me were….

I like this feeling!

Ladies, let’s stop tearing down others and start building them up! When you see a lady that you admire, tell her! Maybe it’s her parenting skills, the way she does her hair, the clothes she wears, or the body that’s wearing those clothes.

And if you feel awkward complimenting another woman then it’s time to…..

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Misery is a state of mind…

It’s true. Misery is a state of mind. You choose misery or happiness.

Have you ever noticed that siblings will live in the same household, have the same parents, go through the same problems and yet one is happy while the other one is always miserable? It’s because they each chose how they would respond to life. One chose happiness and the other chose misery.

Blaming misery on others doesn’t make anything better…. it’s just a manipulative way of inviting someone to join you in your misery. You know the old saying, “Misery loves company.” Well, it’s absolutely true. If you are miserable then you want to make darn sure that no one around you is happy so you blame them for your misery. You do everything within your power to make sure that they know that if they were different then you’d be happy.

You’ve created an environment where no one can truly be happy. Your spouse can’t relax in your presence. Your children are uncomfortable riding in the car with you. Friends avoid lunch dates. Even pastors are afraid to answer the phone when called.

And that’s because everyone knows that there is absolutely nothing they can do to make things better for you.

More than anyone else, women tend to be miserable in their own bodies. They hate the way they look. Dread swimsuit season. Avoid intimacy.

Women stand in front of the mirror and curse the very image of the living God as they curse themselves. Women routinely rehearse and magnify their faults and ignore their beauty.

And because they are miserable they make darn sure that everyone around them is miserable. Husbands are afraid to say anything because they don’t know how it will be heard. Children walk on eggshells. And daughters are taught to hate themselves. No one is happy and everyone is miserable.

If you are miserable in your own skin then it’s your own fault. You can choose to remain the same or you can choose to do something about it.

Here are a few ideas that will help you go from miserable to happy:

  • Start complimenting yourself. Begin to tell yourself that you are made in the very image of God and that’s absolutely beautiful!
  • Stop waiting on the magic pill that will melt your fat away to reveal the strength beneath. Instead:
  1. Develop the fruit of the spirit known as self-control.
  2. Eat well because the better we eat the better we feel.
  3. Exercise. God made your body strong!