One of the things I love about the south is that peopleĀ  talk to you. When I was at Joann’s a lady offered to help me with my sewing, recipes are shared at the grocery store, and people chat with you at the gym.

While doing my dumbbell bench press a guy looked over at me and said the he could tell that I really like what I’m doing. He then went on to express that, like him, I’m a mature lady who has found a way to get and stay healthy…… Our conversation continued as we shared our thoughts on aligning spirit, soul, and body with God’s plan and purposes in our lives.

But I’m still stuck on the mature lady part. I know that I’m only months away from being 50 but I don’t feel like I’m old enough to be that old. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, happier than a clam in the mud, wiser than my years, and I seem to get prettier each and every day. (See, ladies I do practice what I preach by complimenting myself instead of criticizing myself.)

I’ve finally learned not to live in the past, maintain regrets, or try to control everything and everyone around me. I’ve come to accept family and friends for who they are while expecting me to be my best self.

I’ve even gotten used to the idea that my daughter lives in another state and that I won’t be a daily part of my grand-baby’s life.

Heck! He’s right! I’m one mature lady, aren’t I?

Misery is a state of mind…

It’s true. Misery is a state of mind. You choose misery or happiness.

Have you ever noticed that siblings will live in the same household, have the same parents, go through the same problems and yet one is happy while the other one is always miserable? It’s because they each chose how they would respond to life. One chose happiness and the other chose misery.

Blaming misery on others doesn’t make anything better…. it’s just a manipulative way of inviting someone to join you in your misery. You know the old saying, “Misery loves company.” Well, it’s absolutely true. If you are miserable then you want to make darn sure that no one around you is happy so you blame them for your misery. You do everything within your power to make sure that they know that if they were different then you’d be happy.

You’ve created an environment where no one can truly be happy. Your spouse can’t relax in your presence. Your children are uncomfortable riding in the car with you. Friends avoid lunch dates. Even pastors are afraid to answer the phone when called.

And that’s because everyone knows that there is absolutely nothing they can do to make things better for you.

More than anyone else, women tend to be miserable in their own bodies. They hate the way they look. Dread swimsuit season. Avoid intimacy.

Women stand in front of the mirror and curse the very image of the living God as they curse themselves. Women routinely rehearse and magnify their faults and ignore their beauty.

And because they are miserable they make darn sure that everyone around them is miserable. Husbands are afraid to say anything because they don’t know how it will be heard. Children walk on eggshells. And daughters are taught to hate themselves. No one is happy and everyone is miserable.

If you are miserable in your own skin then it’s your own fault. You can choose to remain the same or you can choose to do something about it.

Here are a few ideas that will help you go from miserable to happy:

  • Start complimenting yourself. Begin to tell yourself that you are made in the very image of God and that’s absolutely beautiful!
  • Stop waiting on the magic pill that will melt your fat away to reveal the strength beneath. Instead:
  1. Develop the fruit of the spirit known as self-control.
  2. Eat well because the better we eat the better we feel.
  3. Exercise. God made your body strong!