I haven’t been very faithful in my blogging lately, have I? Truth be told, I’ve been having a major pity party and those are always best attended alone. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself because my daughter and her family moved to Ohio, my first and only granddaughter is more than 24 hours away, I’m not in at the beach, and I was injured and couldn’t go to the gym….
And those aren’t even very good reasons for throwing a pity party. But that didn’t matter because a pity party doesn’t need good reasons. They just need willing participants! I justified my pity party (that turned into a three week long slumber party) by telling myself that others saw their grandchildren every day and that I was gaining weight by not going to the gym and that some people get to live on the beach. I was doing what Paul told us that we shouldn’t do. I was comparing myself to others and coming up lacking!
I am a very foolish girl……
It’s hard to pray when you’re feeling sorry for yourself, isn’t it? Let’s be honest, if God had given me everything I wanted I wouldn’t be feeling sorry for myself, would I? And it seemed like He wasn’t really listening anyway. Maybe even God got tired of listening to my litany of complaints.
Since I didn’t want to keep asking God for what He wasn’t giving me and I couldn’t really force myself to be thankful for what I do have my prayers became reduced to one sentence:
Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)
I found myself whispering that prayer while driving across the country, sewing, cooking dinner, going to church, seeing friends, and many other times throughout the day. Those have been my first words each morning and my last thoughts each night.
That simple prayer opened the door for God to realign my spirit to His heart….. I still don’t have all the things I want and my little family in Ohio is still really far away. But once again, I have the peace of knowing that God is with me, He loves me, and that He and I are quite alright!
I’ll blog again soon….